Mind disturbed..

I have never felt this way,i have never been so uncertain about what i want ever
I was pretty sure that this would work out,the feeling of being loved i thought was enough for me to be with him..
Over time,i felt real strong jolts of feelings for him
I have cried overnight for stupid fights that solved over time but today when i look back at the time i've spent with him,i find no very special memories
Maybe two or three are there but nothing that would give me butterflies in the tummy
I have felt special a zillion times
But felt like the worst person in his life too
I am sure he loves me tons but i am sure about this too that he's hurt me more than times countable..

Things may have appeared to him as small mistakes
And he might have said sorry
But the pieces done are still not fixed properly
There is still something hollow in the memories,something incomplete..

I dont know what i am gonna do about it,i dont know if it'll affect the love or not.
I wanted to do a happy post right now but my mind is thinking about nothing besides him..
And my heart aches..

Sorry for this,will show up with something nice soon.
Love,Nikki

VDay:Oh no !

Markets have been flooding with red
Roses
Heartshaped pillows
Cards
TeddyBears
Chocolates
The internet has been filled too with advertisements about various valentine's day celebration packages and things-to-do-for-him/her
And dont know what else !


Most teenagers i know go crazy when this day is around the corner
But in my personal opinion,promoting this day is nothing else besides giving way to a world market to get into our culture.
What people dont understand is that these days are just one of the ways to make money
For the sake of love and making your guy or girl feel special,you spend thousands of bucks buying useless gifts that end up only with you once you break up..
Celebrating love and togetherness is not about teddybears or chocolates,tell me,would you love him/her less if she does not buy you a stupid card that says 'I Love You' ?
What would you prefer,money spent on a stupid machine made card or a card made with love and effort by the one you love ?
I am not against celebrating valentines day..
I simply do not understand the idea of the gifts and dates and everything else


I have seen my single friends drool over what they see in the showcase shelf of Archies Galleries.
And i am damn sure once they get somebody who would be ready to buy them that stuff,they wont like it anymore :P
Anyhow,this is how i feel..
What do you think ?
Leave comments :)
And who needs a day to celebrate love man ? ;)