Perfection.

 

"Life isnt perfect..
There are ups,there are downs,wrong decisions,right paths..
Life isnt the way we expect,but shock it is when you get everything just the way you dreamt"

When she was 4,there was this cute little kid
They used to sit in class with each other everyday and used to share lunch.
Least did she know that he'd be what he is to her now someday..

Studied together till standard 5.
Till then,they used to be together all the time and were part of the same little group..

Things changed after that,classes shuffled and they lost touch..
It dint matter much,only kids they were..

Class 9,Both were put into the same class..
Though it took a month for them to talk,it never felt like they seprated..
Over the weeks and months that passed,he bacame the best friend she ever had.

Stupid laughs,sweet nothings,painful tears and breakup,he was there with her through it all.
They fought for what they had,dint let anyone or anything come between and somewhere between the smiles and whispers,He fell in love..
She dint know what to do,couldnt break his heart or see him sad
She made a decision she should never have
And told him she loved him back

Soon they broke up because her love wasnt true
He broke into millions of pieces and tried to get through
She cried in regret
He cried in desperation
She wanted the bestfriend back
He wanted her love to be back..

Seprated for months they stayed
Until she called him up one day
Said she was sorry and would make up for the mistake
He forgave her and said it was okay
Soon he realised he could not stay this way
For every moment he spent with her
Only made his day
And the thought that he couldnt have her blew up his mind
And all he did was stay up at nights.

She realised she wanted him
Because over the months,nobody could make her laugh the way he did
Nobody cared the way he did
Nobody made her feel the way he did..

She thought and regretted,the way she broke his heart
The way she ignored his calls and tore him apart
For now all she wanted,to tell him how she feels
But since she could not,she felt her heart bleed..
But one day came,when she couldnt take more
And said what she felt,without thinking anymore..

He jumped with joy,she smiled through tears
For he now had what he wanted
And she,felt clear..
They loved each other with all their heart.
And that is how,their lifes turned path..♥

In my heart,Somewhere :)

You've given me pains ill never forget
Times ill always regret
Through these eyes filled with tears
I try to see what next i have to bear
You love a new girl,you want her bad
But that is not what makes me sad
Its the memories that arent ready to leave my heart
Why dint you tell me you dint love me from the start?
The feeling of betrayl will always stay there
In my heart, somewhere..

I cluth the pillow tight and try to overcome the pain
But it only sinks me deeper
The memories,The touches,The kisses,The hugs
Time will fly by and ill move on
But your smell will always linger
My throat will always go rough each time ill say your name
The feeling that you were once mine
Will always stay here
In my heart, somewhere..

The little world we made for us
The little house we thought we'd have
The little kid we'd name
All has gone in vain
The sleepless nights we spent
Conversations that would never end
All of it will always be there
In my heart somewhere..

Your laughter your smile
Your lips on mine
Your hands around me
Your love for me
Was it all for real?
Or just a dream i dreamt ?

You'll always be there..In my heart somewhere..

11.11.11

Being happy is an important part of everybody's life.

That's the only reason we work upon things to make them better,so that they give us happiness.

Charity,love,care and everything else,all give us happiness.

But happiness is just a feeling..

We,humans,feel and believe what we see..

Our feelings and emotions change with the situation

Why so?

Why somebody or something else gets to decide if we should be happy or sad?

Why cant we control these feelings?..We can !

WE create our own happiness.

We create our own phase of depression or sadness.

11.11.11 Just passed ! :D
It was supposed to be a lucky day as it comes once in a REAL long time.
Though i dont believe in all such things,somehow,this day proved why it was being considered lucky by people all around the globe !..

It made me happy,Really really very happy but i wont say that it was the day,it was what HAPPENED that day so somehow,it was me who did all the efforts and got what i wanted so,kay,back off 11.11.11,i wont give you any credit :P
What happened was supposed to happen,sooner or later but it was totally out of my expectations that it would happen NOW.
Did anything nice and happy and lovely and XYZ happen to you too on 11th November?

Nikkita :D

The never ending pain ..

Heyoooooooo..
I have been away from writing since quite a month..
There was so much happening,Nothing good though.
Nothing that made me happy :/
All sadd news :/

Sometimes,Staying happy is just not your thing..
Everytime you try to be content and thankgod for what you have,something or the other doomly happens.
When somebody is snatched out of your life,your laughter and cheers ripped apart,you can feel your heart cracking and cannot hold yourself up anymore..This happens when somebody you love and adore goes away..
Nothing but memories are left
Streams of tears replace everyone's smile
Screams of emotional pain and hurt replace the sound of laughter but the loss is already done and is inevitable..
After a few days,Things change,Sense of realisation that nothing can be done now mists..


But apart from everything,I am glad about one particular thing
In between everything unstable i felt something i had been craving since long
Mental Stability !
A mental state where you know why you are sad or not content.
You arent confused or feeling all weird because of a reason you dont know.
I knew how to put back myself,Hold myself for everyone around,Hold myself for the people i love..
Although we had a bruis that can never be healed..
We still had the strength to stay integrated and stand together,The family i mean.
It feels really strong to know that even in the hardest times, Everyone dint sit apart with their own problems but came together and supported the weakest, kept aside their own personal grudges.


The news was this that we lost another member and he had to leave for the heavenly..
In the last 3years, its the 4th person who had to leave..



Rest In Peace Sudhir Bahl.You are missed everyday :')

One of those times

We all have those days where we feel life is pointless.


The sun rises like usual,i was being forced to leave the bed like usual but then there was some urge that still made me be in bed,I wanted to cluth onto my pillow tight and just be there,trying to overcome the pain i dint know why existed.Somehow i managed to get up,look around my room but fell back on my bed.I laid there for another 15minutes,thinking about why i was in this mood.
I had so much to do.
I had so much to be happy about.
I had everyone,the night before i was with the bestest people in my life,laughing and rejoicing life.
But then this morning carried some sort of negitivity with it.A feeling of incompletion took over my mind and then the feeling of reality stroke me.What i had been trying to get off my mind was now struck into it.I tried shrugging the feeling off but the pain stabbed mE harder,i started breathing heavy.


After another 20minutes of silence,my ears heard my mother yelling aT me to get out of the bed,i checked the time,it was 12:30.
Although i have my birthday in a few days and have many reasons to be happy,there is something i will always miss.A part of me that i lost a little while back...

Teenage Dream

"As they drown deeper into the sea holding hands,they cry out loud
Not because they want their ownselves to survive
But because he wants her to live,live her dreams,face her fears,feel loved,mortal and everything that makes life happy
For she wanted the same for him
She wanted her companion to be who he wanted,grow old,love and live!
They are both still in each others arms,not ready to unlock the grip of their hands
They still want to be together,dont want to lose each other even for a second till they exist"

Rather than trying to get back on the land,the death has been accepted,the wait for the satan to come and take their souls has come."

Every girl in her early teeenage wishes for that perfect story.If not the prince charming then the one who treats her like a queen,his queen!
One who would love her,adore her,cry for her and go beyond his limits just to see her smile.
It is often said,one who gives too much,expects too much.
Guys go on asking the same thing,why is she so annoyed all the time?
Why does she need a constant reminder for i love her?
Why does she want me to do silly little things?
It is because it makes HER happy!
It makes HER smile!
And more than anything,it makes her fall for you even harder.
Then comes the next phrase,The breakup!
We have all been through a breakup,here i am talking about the first breakup from the one you actually LOVED.We feel we are not enough,every effort you did for the relationship to go right went in vain and your never gonna love again.All the stuff that's said about it,eat ice cream,stay away from sad music or stuff that remind you of the past blah blah blah.What people dont get is that your in no mood for advices,your not gonna follow them no matter what you do.You simply need time just by yourself to put yourself together and get out of the whole thing.
I have been through it all,like any other normal teenaged girl.
I fell in love,was taken to the ninth cloud and then dropped from there.All shattered and broken but there was one thing that got me through.This is what my dad always tells me when i am low.

"You fall down,you get hurt,you cry but after a while you forget about it and go back to normal.So why not now?Its not ending your life.Sit down for a while,cry,think,about it but then let it go."

And then you move onn,you simply accept the fact you cant/wont be with him/her.you learn to compromise and put yourself down and most importantly,you see the way things actually are and the day you realise,you see the fairytales as fake and fictious.
Enough of this now!
I so drown into emotions some times :P
Even after all of these experiences,i remain a douchebag :P
I fall for every chance i get that can maybe make my dream come true!
What now is my fairytale?..
Well,all i can tell you now is that its real hard for it to come true but i am trying. :)
Love,Nikkita*

Thats my favourite picture.There's a secret behind it *Glowing eyes*

I Give Up..

Now is when i am gonna give up.
Cant handle more.
Cant take any more of your blunt ways
Cant bear the pain anymore
Its high time we seprate
Cuz' staying together is not the way
I tried mending
I tried getting it back but i guess
I tried too hard for something i always knew i would never get
Guess the first year we spent together
Was the only time both me and you were meant to be.


Maybe i would change my mind a few seconds,minutes or maybe hours later
But at this moment,this is what i think is right
Because baby i have loved you with all my heart,
But this is what i think


I guess what i craved on the lonely nights were only sweet words of love
Something you told me every now and then while we had been together
That is still what i want
I just cannot understand,what this feeling is,is it love?
Do i want it?
Am i holding on to you a bit too much?
Do you actually feel for me?
Is it really worth?
Are you really the one?
Well for now i am in a fix.
Hope i will find my answers when i try to sleep tonight
All i know is i need you now,i needed you then and baby,I need you forever !

Be who you are.

We have all been through a stage where we see that being who we are is not the best option,We feel we wont be accepted,We might get insulted or illtreated or might feel out of the group.
I have been through it too,Like everyother teenager.

As the first day of 9th grade preceeded,I entered my new shuffled class.I knew  almost everyone there,had a few friends too(That is pretty obvious!) but there was no face i was used to being around everyday.
The people i thought i belonged with were in no way similar to the kind of friends i had earlier.I was the kind of girl who loved pink,would cry over a broken nail.The kind people generalise as 'Delicate'..I dint consider myself one though.The friends i had earlier knew me well,knew my likes,dislikes.They liked being around me.When around them,I could effortlessly be who i wanted to be.

Yeah so this new group i was now with,it was not easy for me to fit in,though now i feel they are the best people i know.
I pretended to be one of them,like one of them but soon as time went by,i realised they were not ONE person,they were all different characters grouped together,everybody was different,everybody was special in their own kind of way and i being a dumbass tried being everyone.
So i got out of the pretentious mask i used to hide behind,put on my real self and to my surprise,i could feel myself enjoying and loving the new group i had.Everything seemed easy,talking without thinking got me into troubles though :P but since i had backup of the best people around,i got out of that too,with my head still high.
I dont care what people think,i am proud of who i am and so should you be.Thats what i learnt through my 9th grade.

I am bad at endings : |
But here is a try,BYE ! :P

First Post

So this is my first post.
I have this thing i recently got for blogging after surfing a few blogs.
I am a high end fashion freak :D,Not a brand puppy though,I am 14 :|
But will be 15 this october :D
Nikkita Kalra,India,Delhi kid :D