Mind disturbed..

I have never felt this way,i have never been so uncertain about what i want ever
I was pretty sure that this would work out,the feeling of being loved i thought was enough for me to be with him..
Over time,i felt real strong jolts of feelings for him
I have cried overnight for stupid fights that solved over time but today when i look back at the time i've spent with him,i find no very special memories
Maybe two or three are there but nothing that would give me butterflies in the tummy
I have felt special a zillion times
But felt like the worst person in his life too
I am sure he loves me tons but i am sure about this too that he's hurt me more than times countable..

Things may have appeared to him as small mistakes
And he might have said sorry
But the pieces done are still not fixed properly
There is still something hollow in the memories,something incomplete..

I dont know what i am gonna do about it,i dont know if it'll affect the love or not.
I wanted to do a happy post right now but my mind is thinking about nothing besides him..
And my heart aches..

Sorry for this,will show up with something nice soon.
Love,Nikki